trip

i'm going to my sister's for my niece's batmizvah over the weekend. i'll be flying over and staying in a hotel, so that means i can't cook my own stuff. I find in social situations where i do eat crap, the main reason is because i am down about having to be there in the first place.

my mother has cancer and diabetes- she needs someone to travel with her. originally she was going to go with my brother and i wasn't going to go at all. but my brother decided to drive down instead, so my mother wasn't going to go. i knew she was really looking forward to it, and the doctor says she doesn't have that long to live, so i thought i could sacrifice a little to take her myself. i don't really enjoy these big family get-togethers, especially where it is not easy to escape if you get bored or people start getting on your nerves. so knowing all this, i think i need to get myself psyched up and not get down in the first place.

i need to eat small portions because even the meat and seafood will be soaked in sugar, salt and unhealthy oils that will start my cravings up. i may even nibble at salad sans the salad dressing just to look like i am doing something and not draw attention to myself! of course there is always the old standby white lie 'i'm feeling a little nauseous so i don't have an appetite'. i will make an effort to enjoy people's company and do some people watching. my sister converted to judaism when she got married, so i don't really know a lot about the religion/culture. so my natural curiosity may be a way to keep myself in a good mood.

i'll be an alcoholic in recovery in a room full of alcohol and alcoholics, but i've been in that situation before and did pretty well. the key is to not start feeling trapped and down. so i have a game plan.